There comes a moment in every man’s life, if he’s lucky,
where the roles stop working.
The role of provider.
Protector.
Performer.
Fixer.
Builder.
It’s not that they were wrong.
It’s that… they’re no longer enough.
If you’re over 50, you might feel it already:
The subtle (or not-so-subtle) ache that says,
“There’s something more… but I don’t know what it is.”
This is where the real initiation begins.
Not into hustle.
Not into purpose.
But into presence.
There is something more… but I don’t know what it is
🎭 The Provider Mask
Let’s be honest.
Being a provider has been our default identity.
For decades, we were taught to:
- Earn more.
- Work harder.
- Be reliable.
- Stay strong.
And we did it.
We became the providers.
Sometimes at great cost.
But here’s the inconvenient truth:
Providing is safe.
Presiding is sacred.
Most men never make that leap.
👑 What’s the Difference?
The Provider:
- Gives resources.
- Solves problems.
- Builds empires.
- Burns out quietly.
- Measures worth by output.
The Presider:
- Holds space.
- Guides without grasping.
- Speaks from stillness.
- Leads by being.
- Measures worth by presence.
The Provider does.
The Presider is.
And most men hit 50 completely over-identified with doing.
They don’t know how to be.
Until one day, their body slows down.
Their kids move on.
The business runs itself, or crashes.
And they’re left staring at the wall thinking:
What the hell am I without all of this?
🐍 The Shedding Begins
This shift isn’t a midlife crisis.
It’s a midlife chrysalis.
And like any real transformation, it’s messy.
For me, it looked like:
- Losing interest in the game I used to win at.
- Getting quieter in rooms where I used to dominate.
- Feeling weirdly emotional at sunsets and songs I’d ignored for decades.
- Realising the version of me I had sold the world… wasn’t the whole truth.
And then… remembering who I am underneath all that.
🔥 Why Most Men Resist This Shift
Because presiding requires trust.
Not just in others, but in life itself.
And most of us were taught to control, not surrender.
But you can’t grind your way into kingship.
You relax into it.
That’s the paradox.
The “success system” we were fed doesn’t work here.
You don’t earn your crown by effort.
You remember it by presence.
🌊 What Presiding Looks Like (In Real Life)
It’s not about sitting on a throne wearing linen robes.
(Though hey, no judgement if that’s your thing.)
Presiding is:
- Listening without fixing.
- Speaking without forcing.
- Working without needing to prove.
- Protecting your energy without apology.
- Leading with heart, not just strategy.
It’s being the mountain others feel safe around,
not because you shout,
but because you don’t need to.
🧠 For the Man Who’s Tired of “Doing It All”
If you’re feeling the shift:
From builder to being.
From driver to discerner.
From soldier to sovereign…
You’re not lazy.
You’re not broken.
You’re not “losing your edge.”
You’re just finally safe enough to become who you really are.
And if the system you built doesn’t allow that?
Burn it.
Bless it.
Rebuild it differently.
(That’s what I did. And my soul thanked me for it.)
🧭 Final Words for the Presider Rising
If you’re still clinging to being the provider, let me offer this:
You gave more than enough.
You built more than enough.
You’ve proven enough.
Now is the time to preside.
To hold court with yourself.
To become the still point in a world that never stops spinning.
Your wisdom is needed.
Your presence is power.
Your time… is now.
Let the others run.
You?
Sit still, and watch the world come to you.
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